You see, I don’t know if this is love
I’ve fooled myself before
So forgive me for not going fast enough
And being armed to the teeth.
I’ve got daggers on each hip
I’ve loaded a crossbow
Forgive me for complaining but
My arms are sore, you know.
This wild, raw feeling kicks like a horse
Intimacy is earned not conquered
But I know you already know that.
You’ve said it already.
Yet I’m still on the defensive
You want to see through the gaps in my stitches
What’s so special about a bunch of wounds?
What sight do you think you’re missing?
Back! I’ll shoot! Don’t get too close
You’ll see that I’m just patchwork
Like the monster in Frankenstein
You’ll freak out, leave and I’ll be hurt.
But, you hold me as I tremble.
The crossbow is on the ground
You aren’t going anywhere, are you?
Please stay here. Get your pen-knife
Open up these stitches
You ask me, why?
I need you to see me for what I am
And embrace every bit of it.
I need to clean these wounds
Before they fester and kill me.
Before they see me ruined
Let the ghosts of the past and demons out
Let them out of our ribcages
Take a sword from my hand
And let’s face them
Sidenote: This is a poem I entered for the Scottish Book Trust Secrets and Confessions competition.
It can be viewed on their website here: http://scottishbooktrust.com/writing/secrets-and-confessions/story/is-love-a-violent-feeling